The Dating Crisis

Dating in 2020 is not for the feint hearted. No one wants to commit to anything yet everyone wants all the perks of being with someone. Instant gratification has made the whole thing quite absurd and meaningless. Why bother with it at all? No one takes the time anymore to invest in knowing someone and understanding where they are coming from. What makes them tick? What do they like or dislike? The next hook-up is only a swipe away. Why waste all that precious time dealing with someone and their drama?

Previous generations never had social media and technology to contend with. If you wanted someone you had to put the work in. A man had to gather the cojones to approach a woman he fancied. Could be out on the street or at the supermarket but you had to step up to her and give her your “lyrics”. You couldn’t just slide in her DMs like we do nowadays. You had to put in the blood, sweat and tears. I remember when I was in high school writing love letters to my crush. Doing a mix tape of love songs to woo her. Then having to deal with the rejection or being shot down for even daring to fathom the idea. It was tough but we got used to the idea that as a man you had to put in some work to get what you want and even with that it’s never guaranteed that you will get it. It helped build our character as men. It made us resilient and it made us fighters. Fast forward to 2020 and we are finding it difficult to deal with rejection. Even at a time when all we have to do is slide in those DMs, somehow rejection even there hits us hard. We are not as tough as we used to be.

Women on the other hand have become more vicious and “savage” in telling men off for even daring to slide in those DMs. What would she do if the man could step up to her in person? Would she frown, cuss him out or just walk off? Women don’t appreciate how much heart it takes to even slide in those DMs in the first place with the knowledge that a) you could be ignored/blocked or b) you could get shot down, screenshotted and made a laughing stock with her friends or worse still on her wall for all to see. A lot of women love bragging about how they will put men on blast if they ever slide in those DMs but have they ever thought about how it would feel if the shoe was on the other foot? Some women slide into men’s DMs but you never hear of a man threatening to put women on blast for doing that? Why is that even necessary? Can’t we just ignore or block the people we don’t want in our DM’s? Why all the drama? Sometimes it’s to boost their own egos, “I’m so hot, everyone is sliding into my DMs….” Really?

Filters are to blame. People end up with an over inflated ego because of the likes and the comments on their stylish pics forgetting that it’s not real. A like on social media does not constitute a real emotion or connection with someone. It’s fleeting. You may get a thousand likes but maybe only two or three of those people really like you. The rest just like what they see in the picture. Not you specifically. But in this day and age it’s difficult to get that message through. Lots of people doing things to be trendy and “for the gram”. There’s no real substance anymore.

The whole game has changed and I think it’s changed for the worse. There is so much animosity and mistrust between the sexes. Men don’t trust women. Women don’t trust men. Men think women are all the same and so do women. A few bad experiences become the barometer with which one judges an entire gender negating the fact that no two people are the same. Not even identical twins are the same. So why should your experiences with Keisha affect your relationship with Tanya. And why should your bad experience with James make Mike a bad guy also. Lots of hurt people are out there trying to date when they have no business dating. Heal yourself first. Get over your trauma first before you go and make it someone else’s problem.

The Roddy Chasewater Show

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