The Actualization Phase – Long Lasting Relationships.


This is the stage in a relationship where you have no doubt or reservations about your partner and you are satisfied beyond the shadow of a doubt that only death can separate you.

Only a few get to this point in their relationships. Less still nowadays than in the past as marriages and relationships in general become easier to get out of. But by the time most relatiinships hit the comfort zone phase it is a real challenge for them to make it to the actualization phase.

Most people fulfil this phase some time in their 50’s. They have been there and done that. They have completed most of their goals in life. Very few things in life amaze them. They have nothing to prove to anyone anymore. Not even to themselves. They feel more confident and secure in the choices they have made. Even when it comes to their spouse.

Long lasting relationships work best when the age gap between couples is not too wide. An age gap of 15 or more years is difficult to consolidate as most people mature with age. Your emotional resilience when you are in your 20’s is not as strong as it is when you are in your 40’s. It is not ideal for the older partner to feel they have arrived at the actualization phase of a relationship when their partner is yet to realise the same level of certainty about the relationship.

Feeling secure and confident in your relationship is the most important aspect of the actualization phase. All the trials you faced during the comfort zone have only served to solidify your union. You know nothing can destroy your relationship. This is the last mile so to speak. Surely this is it! But some have received a shock during the 11th hour of their relationship.

It is not unheard of for people in their 60’s or even 70’s to go their separate ways after decades together. It is sobering to admit that sometimes with all the planning and meticulous dedication you can have in a relationship sometimes they do not last forever.

The Roddy Chasewater Show.

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