This is usually the longest part of any relationship. The excitement of the honeymoon phase is now well and truly over and you are now for the most part taking each other a bit for granted. The complexities of life are now making the intimacy and spontaneity you once had a thing of the past. This is the most challenging part of the relationship and overcoming this is never easy.
When you first fall in love with someone they may have some flaws that you may intentionally choose to ignore because at that time they are not that important to you. Or perhaps we see these flaws but we are “blinded” by our emotions. The comfort zone amplifies these flaws and gradually you find that they can no longer be ignored. Addressing these with your partner can be a contentious issue because you never know how they are going to respond to your criticism. In most cases the response is a negative one because to be frank most people abhor criticism.
Most folks in this stage feel like they don’t need to try that hard anymore. After all they are a bonafide couple now. Surely nothing can go wrong, but alas, something usually does. Most people want things in the relationship to continue as they were when they were still in the honeymoon phase. They forget that sometimes familiarity breeds contempt. You can’t keep doing the same things you used to do when you were still courting. The key is to be adaptable and synthesise with your partner as they grow.
Sometimes your partner starts changing and you fail to change with them. You fail to sync with one another and as a result cracks start to appear in your relationship. What was once a perfect union starts to disintegrate. Partners who were once so close become more and more distant. In such times people seek the advice of friends and relatives. Some will give you good advice and others will give you more poison and help you destroy your relationship even more.
Infidelity is a strong possibility in the comfort zone. Where you start drifting apart a third party may become involved. Someone who will help you forget the turmoil you currently find yourself in. Someone who will fill that void that your partner cannot fill for one reason or another. In most cases this will mark the beginning of the end of your relationship. Some cheaters never get caught but those who are at times blame their partners for not being there for them. Overcoming this is never easy but for those who forgive and forget sometimes they always remember how it felt to be cheated on. No matter how many years pass, that mistrust will lie dormant somewhere deep inside and it may never leave them completely.
The comfort zone is the ultimate test phase of any relationship. So many things can go wrong but so many things can go right as well. If people can be mindful of how their relationship is doing then maybe they have a chance. Someone once said relationships/marriages are hard work and they were right. You have to work hard at it. You have to be mentally prepared for the work required to make success of it. The tests and trials of the comfort zone can actually make your relationship stronger. Only if you set your mind to it.
The Roddy Chasewater Show.