Courtship is ideally described as the period of time in which a couple determines if they can have a romantic relationship or marriage. In long lasting relationships this is a fundamental stage in determining the longevity of a relationship.
Typically in most cultures courtship is usually initiated by the man. He usually makes the “first move” so to speak. However it is not uncommon for a woman to give hints or subtle signals to her prospective partner.
Some women especially nowadays are not afraid to approach a man but typically most women shun from doing this lest they are made to feel as if they are easy to get. Most women prefer to maintain the “hard to get” stance but with the current instant gratification generation some feel the hard to get mantra is an old skool phenomenon.
However men usually enjoy a bit of a challenge. They say “easy come easy go”. Something you get easily does not have as much value as something you had to fight for. Men in long lasting relationships usually discuss the challenges they faced before their partner or wife eventually agreed to go out with them.
On the flipside their women will also chat to their girlfriends about the hoops they had their man jumping through before they started dating. It adds more intrigue and drama to what is otherwise a simple and straightforward concept. These are the memories that will push the couple through even the most challenging situations a relationship can face.
Having said that it is important to realise we live in a modern society. The way our parents courted one another cannot be the same way we courted our partners. Worse still our children. Theirs will be a different ball game altogether. Our fathers went through hell before they could even think of stepping up to the women they wanted. My generation was a bit more advanced. We were a bit more adventurous than our fathers and we had more resources to do certain things they were not able to.
Our children will also take things to the next level but the basic concepts of courtship should never change. There must be a time of learning each other and testing each other. Testing strengths and weaknesses. Likes and dislikes. To see whether you can last the test of time after the looks have faded. After the initial novelties have worn off.
That is where most go wrong. They don’t consider all these things before they dive in head first and then they cry foul when things go south. There is no set time for how long courtship should last but long enough to make you comfortable. If you are not comfortable with this person don’t dive in because you may regret it.
There is a sixth sense about these things. A niggling feeling at the back of your mind but we ignore it sometimes. Our subconscious self will be trying to tell us something but we choose to ignore it. Many relationships have had disastrous consequences because people chose to ignore all the little clues and tell tell signs that were there right before them. That is why courtship is so important.
Next time we will look at the Honeymoon Phase.
The Roddy Chasewater Show.