The Complexities of Platonic Relationships.

Can a man and a woman only ever just be friends? Why not? Does every relationship between a man and a woman have to be defined along sexual stereotypes? Absolutely not. But why is the concept still difficult for a lot of people to accept? Why are friendships between people of the opposite sex viewed with suspicion and doubt?

Most people nowadays will admit to having at least one friend of the opposite sex. A friend you can at least call or text regarding basic day to day issues like advice and even catch up on the latest goss in some cases. Some have more than one of these friends and in some cases they all serve a different purpose. Some are purely there for advice and others are there as confidants.

Some people find it difficult to comprehend how and why their partner should have a friend of the opposite sex. They suspect foul play and are not comfortable with the idea. They try and eavesdrop on you conversations or messages suspecting there is more to these liaisons than meets the eye. Jealousy creeps in and they can end up feeling resentment for this “friend of yours”.

Some of these friends you may have known even before you met your current beau. Does that mean you have to sever all ties to these friends just because they are of the opposite sex? In some cases these friends may have even been an ex. Or someone you tried to get with but did not succeed. You probably realised you were better off just being friends. Nothing wrong with that but some might argue that the temptation may still linger and could resurface if the opportunity presents itself.

Friends of the opposite sex can offer an interesting and informative insight into the mindset of your partner. They may be able to give you some advice that your partner may not be able to give you due to bias. However if your friend has an ulterior motive they may actually give you bad advice just to stir things up of jeopardise your relationship. However one can argue a friend of the same sex can do just the same if they also have an ulterior motive. There is no difference.

I guess the main worry is the fear that this friendship could turn into something more than just friendship. The fear that these liaisons could end up somewhere between the sheets. That is not impossible. Some marriages resulted from people who were initially friends. There is no hard and fast rule as to how two people end up together or falling in love. A secure relationship need not be affected by a friend or friends of the opposite sex. Furthermore in this day and age even people of the same sex can be attracted to each other.

To be honest sometimes a friendly connection can easily slip into a romantic one. When you connect with someone on any level it is easy to see them as more than just a friend. Usually men tend to have “blurred vision” when it comes to distinguishing between a friend and someone who is more than just a friend. Women seem more certain about the distinction between the two.

Trust is the key thing in any relationship. If you cannot trust your partner to make the right decisions then you are probably in the wrong relationship. Particularly if you feel this “friend” is quite attractive it may offset your sense of security in a relationship but even with that in mind it is important to trust your partner.

The Roddy Chasewater Show.