Are Relationships All About Money Or All About Love?

In modern relationships people get together for a variety of reasons. Some relationships are based on looks and others are based on convenience but two of the most popular reasons why people get together are either because of money or because of love.

Most would argue that love should be the superseding factor when two people get together but some will argue that the money has to be on point before we talk about love. Who wants to date or marry someone who is financially incompatible with them? Either they will bring you down with their broke self or they will expect too much of you financially. Whether we like it or not money has a role to play.

Recently Janet Jackson is planning to file for divorce from her billionaire husband of 5 years soon after the birth of their first child. She has a prenup that guarantees her $500 million if they split. Some said she was gold digging and others think she was smart. Was this her plan all along so that she could cash in or did things really go pear shaped conveniently after 5 years? Did she marry him for the money or did she really love him? No one can be certain.

Several other rich and famous people have had prenuptial agreements to protect their financial assets. However increasingly nowadays prenups are no longer just for the rich and famous. Small business owners and people with relatively modest assets can now draw up a prenuptial agreement in case things go south. Clearly the realisation is that finances matter in a relationship, worse still in a marriage. No one wants to feel like they are bearing the brunt of financial responsibility in a relationship. You don’t want to be at a loss if the relationship comes to an end. You want to be able to bounce back and continue from where you left off.

“Money cannot buy love and love cannot buy money, but money increases the chances of love and love decreases the need for money.” This is why these days you can find an extremely old and wealthy man marrying a beautiful young woman. She may not love him initially in the romantic sense but eventually with time that money will create a conducive atmosphere for her to love him genuinely.

Defining romantic love has never been easy. Some believe it stems from biblical analogies of God and the children of Israel who were often depicted as an unfaithful wife. God did all He could do for his wife Israel but she was never grateful. Thereby love is seen as a sacred thing. A thing that cannot be tainted by such fickle things as money and wealth. In some instances in the bible money is depicted as an evil and demonic entity. “The love of money is the root of all evil” is one of the most quoted biblical scriptures ever. Further alienating people from thinking about money in a positive light.

Statistically women are more inclined to look for financial competency in a partner than men do. Men are more inclined to look for a partner who is financially inferior to them so that they avoid bruising their egos and a lot of women are quite happy to play along with this stereotype. They want a man who can take care of them and provide for them. A man who is financially secure. This once again has biblical and cultural origins. However with the rise of the modern woman into positions of power and wealth they find themselves genuinely looking for love because they are already financially secure. The dilemma is that women tend to look for men who are more powerful or wealthier than them. Sometimes they may go for someone at par with them or slightly inferior. Nonetheless love becomes more challenging the more successful they become.

The fear of being with a broke partner is a genuine fear for a lot of women. Especially women of colour. Taking care of a man is never something they were taught to do or accept. However a lot of these women have had to compromise their values and take care of these men who are financially inferior to them.

Love and money work hand in hand. Love can quickly disappear in a relationship where there is no money. Just as love can be bought (to some extent) where there is money. Getting in a relationship for either reason is quite plausible if you can justify the ends.

The Roddy Chasewater Show.